wat i send to my bro via email... Disappointed wif FAMILY

wat i send to my bro via email... Disappointed wif FAMILY


maybe mummy say wrong i not so good girl at house....

i tell u but u cannot tell mummy them....
i really feel i at house no privacy at house i feel i m no use at all.

Ya mayb i wrong too, i cannot blame them coz they are worry me too...
but i think too over ad , over until my letter can go open it? until i no phone use?
mayb they got their reason , but i really can't aceppt at tis envoroment...
i everyday feel upsad who know? all dunno coz i no say it out.
I really hate myself actually , i got many negative thinking , i will think very very much.
and they say me dunno how to protect myself , if i dunno den i will drive car go out until late late.
who know? they say y i dun wan call my friend and say my thing was keep in heart?
how they know i no find them? i find them but got respone? NO !
They are totally think me is transparent. Y like tis? is bcoz i less to join them and i join them must early back.
den they also lazy to call me out. Like li ping birthday on tuesda but they say can't celebrate at tat time but no body tell me they celebrate o saturday or sunday... i need see their facebook update photo i only know... I really sad u know~
No one can feel tat..!!!
I no freedom enough wat also need tell parent wat also need gv parent see...

I ad 18 years old .... but no privarcy no freedom at all... den wat the difference wif 8 years old child/?
and i talk to my cousin also cannt? must say over bf tat type de mer?
Y they need care o\so much? it is really over....
And i really cannot forgive them to open my letter...
They do thoes thing will may me feel antipathy wif them....

no meaning is i continue like tis... i say ad i will protect myself i know which is good which is wrong...
they keep say me dun wan talk out... open mouth... i got when they no beside me...
and they no let me go and know tis world is how... HOw to independent...
How is the pressure in out soceity how to slove the problem how to release stress...
they no let me try how i\they know i cannot..
I will do tis work until end off tis year next year mayb i will go find another work or go interview the steweadess job... take the course
or concerate b a ballet teacher do full time ballet teacher....
and u know ms jane wanna kick me away ad? u know y? it beacuse i got saturday job... i cannot go ds observe class i cannot teach a good class... i cannot develop it... tat y... i wanna go replace other class u know mummy say wat? no need u still have saturday job... u know 1 day i replace i will get how much? 9.45 until 2pm it was my 2 day class i ad get 72 ringgit den my monthly will get high salary...

if i replace 2 week also so many class see how much i will get?
but mummy say no need and they so no belive me....fine den... but they will say again y ms jane no gv u replace class ad?
wat the question she ask? she no ask herslef? i feel damn tired to them... i tired to face them... i got think b4 i go out and stay my self but i scare they so i same like a ping jie jie... den find i dun wan but i need freedom... i dun wan always they fetch me ... i wan independent
i wan done all my thing wif myself...

Focus back to tat point again... (BF)
i feel i dun wan find ad she always say i dunno choose...
den i will dun wan choose it....
i gt phobia ad.... i dun wan it ad..and i know u will say wat also if dun wan reply nvm but remember dun tell them...
if u tell them i won't say anything to u nexttime....
i will keep it on myself///
bye take care ^^

Ytd was tired but it is happy.... coz teacher got say my name Miss siew may theng and say Ms Siew.
I really feel happy enough even though he juz say me no good. But tat is enough for me ~
Today use english to update coz long time din't make it up. I feel tat y GOD need created LIFE for human?
It is tat can give human more good/? It if tat only got Challange? It is tat only can feel many thing?

Y cannot juz happy enough? And it was so hard to let someone to aceppt it... I m the first 1 say can't~
I really can't i feel tired enough really... Really tired...
I dun wan to get it more den tat..... Zzzzzzzzzzz....

Ytd less 60 ringgit today check only release Gv MORE 200 omg....
wat happen to me actually?
really so CHU XING? So no heart enough?
Y all the bad thing rush come and find me?
Hate it enough really... I cannot tahan it ad....

Tat i know y i so love those song was so upsad...
it is because tat is really sing for me....
RMB my fb friend Miss C say wanna say more EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee like tis only can be happy
But wat is happy recently? i ad can clear it up... I dunnno wat is tat ad.... I keep changed myself but y still no ppl can prove it tat i was changed ad?

Y no ppl can rmb me? and same the ADVERTIMSENT in radio, tat Y no PPL can LOOK me? wah... tat is wat i really wanna
SHOUT to other~

I m not TRANSPARENT. HAHA when i type tis blog i get the advertisment on radio.. hehe i smile and laugh by my own...
haha, tat many ppl say wat also need share but my thing if share  i will feel shame enough...

Coz now i only know my parents will open my letter when the letter post to my house....
TAT day my bro in london was send once letter to my house bcoz it wan gv my dad a birthday suprise....but the front of letter is write by mu name... My dad see got love drwing on top of letter den open the letter and see....
I dunno tat but tat day my mother say tat i shoc and feel sad....
If really is other boy send come also ok wat coz tat is my privarcy i should have it ... i need have it also... y they can like tat?
i think i will no marry and bf to future... coz i sure can't get it coz i no privarcy ... if got also scare me ad....







LET SAY :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

EEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEeeeeeEEeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeee

i am dancer

I am a dancer




I twirl, leap and spin



I jump, piorette, and tap



I am a dancer



I feel pain and fear



I feel defeat and failure yet



I keep going I smile, I practice, I perform



I feel happiness and joy



I have grace and beauty



I hear the applause



I perform and do my best Sometimes



I fail I don't give up For



I am a dancer



I am brave and strong



I dance not for fame and glory But for how I feel inside



I am happiness,joy,love & excitment Strife, talent, joy, Determination and beauty



I am a dancer

13 OCTOBER 2010 & 14 OCTOBER 2010

13 October 2010

今天其實是有點衰~
突然好像發生很多事，突然覺得世界變得很恐怖。。。。。
怎麽會這樣呢/。？ 到底這象徵這什麽阿/？

早上發生的事就不說了~
晚上跳舞既然條道腳流血~
怎麽會那麽可怕~
第一次流那麽多~
天啊~
好怕阿~

14 october 2010
今天一大早就被罵~
因爲頭髮的關係還有哪小到要命的水害我的~
討厭真的很討厭~
不喜歡這樣~
全部東西都變了，變得很可怕，好就沒這感覺了~
怎麽都好像自己被人家控制呢？
我不要好嗎？

媽媽以前跟我很好突然她變得很恐怖~
到底發生什麽事？
我到底有什麽好罵的？
昨天過馬路車hon我~
我也被罵，明明就那個車的問題~ 她不會開慢的阿~
有時不知道媽媽罵我是對還是錯？
因爲像去馬六甲的，我怎麽知道那邊的老人家要化妝？
也是她說要化妝才去？
她真的以爲我沒找人傢馬？
我有只是她又不肯放我自己一個人~
每次都要她載她陪~
我卻不知道這樣會讓我永遠不會長大~

有天她說我很弱，什麽都不敢開口~
知道爲什麽嗎？ 我不是說全部是她的問題~
因爲以前我想要什麽我問她她一定說不行，不好，不要~
所以我那時知道了，我問什麽東西都不能得到的~
所以現在的我都幫自己打好敗訴~
還沒做就覺得一定輸`
就因爲自己小時候不好，大了就這樣！

好想哭哦~

感觸 意味著 什麽？

有誰可以告訴我什麽是感觸？
感觸可以改變什麽？

今天跟Q小姐拿了她的部落的網址，所以就去看了~
她的比我的還悲哈哈~
但其實我們是一樣的，也是什麽都不表達
讓自己變得很辛苦，也甘願的人~

但他比我懂事，比我成熟了~
她偶爾的任性會讓她覺得更有安全感~
我也是那麽的覺得，只要任性一下會有人關心，
我覺得很開心，很有安全了~

她的部落，她本人~
也讓我發現和懂了一些事~
我就是要看人家的部落才會懂~
但還是沒什麽改變~

她說了，什麽東西都該和朋友家人包括愛人分享~
她說得對 。
但又有多少人會做到呢？
有是想說出但往往都有很多東西打岔，
試問這樣又從那找出勇氣呢？
現在的我很好，因爲認識了他們兩姐弟~
讓我懂得如何向人家分享~

我希望我會做到~ 加油~

发现

看了许多人的部落才发现很多东西~

发现了原来自己是多么的脆弱，
我承认我是一个很孤僻的人，
常常会活在自己的角落，
不参，不说，令人讨厌~

但你们是否想过为什么我常常这样？
其实我只是要你们看见我，
希望人家觉得我是有存在的，
我不喜欢你们当我是透明的~
我建起那心中的角落那座墙，
不是排斥不是小心眼~
什么都不是，是希望有人真的会爬墙救我出去~

有时我不开心不说，
有时又故意把样子做出来~
是因为我不想知识跟在后头~

再短短的两年，我把自己弄得跟别人不一样
跟成熟更好看~
是希望有人会称赞我~

我这样难道真的错了吗/。？
我真的很想知道你们有真正了解我吗？
有尝试马？

每次跟你们牛头不对马嘴的你觉得我很好手吗？
我也很辛苦~
我讨厌这样的自己,
你们又有想过吗？
每次想跟谁你们常常挨骂你们知道吗？

有时在家不开心你们又有问过为什么我不开心吗？
你们的眼中就只有他，她
有想过我马？
我也许要人家关心，
需要人家爱~
你们真的知道吗/。？

同样的话说了好几篇，
有人行动吗/。？
难道我的话那么不中听马？
我的意见有人用过吗？
是我思想有问题？
还是你们要求过高？

我真的那么的没用吗？
谁可以给我真正的答案呢？
我很害怕你们不找我~
我会吃醋你们不约我~
因为我真的在乎~

在乎有错吗/。？

The New Of ME

9 OCTOBER 2010

时间过的好快好快~
又要过一个星期了~
十月很快又要过去了~
怎么都觉得自己好像没什么改变~

刚才看了宝贝(霜儿) 的部落和亲爱的(akina) 的部落~
他们反复很像很忙~
但唯一高兴的是宝贝的部落终于没那么的悲了，这样我也替她感到开心~
宝贝是我在friendster认识的，我们在哪很开心聊得来就称呼对方宝贝~
宝贝人很好最近也越变越漂亮，也有个疼爱她的男朋友。
真羡慕他~ 我最羡慕的不是他漂亮和有疼她的男人~

我羡慕的是她有个完美又好的友情~
比起我真的差太远了~
看看她~
再看看我的友情，怎么人家也3年我也3 年，怎么我的比较悲？

怎么我的朋友好像比较排斥我？ 是我的问题吗？
这个问题一直环绕着我~ 弄到我喘不过气来~
她们想什么我真的不只到~
从不认识到认识，
从没话到话说也说不忘，
从不漂亮变得更漂亮，
从脾气不好到温柔~

我们什么没经历过？

处罚一起处罚。
我们以前都离不开对方3人~
怎么会变得如此下场？

真的搞不懂我累了，真的累了~

08 OcTober 2010

What i got another name ad...

Ad long time no ppl created name for me ad wahaha...

When in the skul time many ppl created cute and weird name for me...

E.G -------> Xiu mai , Xiu mai 'Ting" , Wu po , and more .....

Tat time i feel angry coz they no respect me...

Wow look like so gan jjiong.... wahhahahahahhaahahah

Now the time is pass i miss those whose calling me tat cute name....

And 'Dunno' izity time pass fast ad...

nowsday is my turn to created my cute name....

HAHAHA... feel weird right hmm.... ntg do la... maybe.....

wahhahahahahah........

The name for me is MS.DUNNO wao....so cute name!!!!

Y got tis name? how come?

Hmm.....

It is i release tat many ppl ask me many thing my answer is 'DUNNO'

Mummy: wat u wan to eat?

yukii: Dunno

Bro:What u wan be yr present?

yukii: Dunnno

Dad: what u wan eat?

Yukii: dunno

dad: i wan open a shop name DUNNO ad

Wahahaha izity funny? hehe tat  y my name is Ms DUNNO

06 October 2010

我很久没上来了，忙忙忙， 有时也不知道上来要干嘛~
赫赫，最近的我很不行，很差劲。发生也做错很多事。
虽然没人责怪我，每人说我，但心里自然会有不开心，伤心和犹豫。
这次的我不像以前的我，以前的我就算什么事放在心上，伪装都不会辛苦。
但这次的我伪装了会很不舒服，为什么会这样？ 是因为我累了？ 老了？ 有朋友了？
为什么我好像什么都不懂啊？ 我该怎么办啊？

上次看了宝贝霜儿的部落----------〉看到她说她不跳舞是因为她的脚受伤了不能跳了。
我开始害怕了 因为怕不知道几时会到我~=。=
最近我的脚都很多问题，我真的不如以前了。但是这些事有谁知道？
没有人知道的因为每个都觉得“是她自己不要站起来” 谁说的~ 我努力了有人看见吗?
没有因为她们只看到一面的我~ 最近身体状况也是不那么好，朋友们都说我越来越瘦。

现在的我也发觉了，以前穿上芭蕾紧身衣都是有肉，可怕的事我的大腿也瘦了。
最难瘦的都瘦了可怕了。 哈哈 第一次那么怕瘦~

闷闷闷。。。。。 怎么我会这样?

好想告诉自己撑着点。。。 加油= 我应该可以的~ ^^